Help me find myself
by LouiseLawliet
Summary: Watari finds a terrified, neglected and abused child on the streets of London. Can he win the trust and discover the secrets of this mysterious boy, he only knows as L. Rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1 - Discovery

**hi guys, I thought I'd start a new story, I will be updating Red Mist too soon! I'll update one story one day and the other the next! Please review if you enjoy and I hope you do enjoy it :) ~ Louise Lawliet**

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Walking through the streets of London was bad enough. Trying to find the correct street out of the hundreds of winding roads and tiny alleyways was like trying to find a needle In a haystack. An older man, in his early fifties, was walking down one of these streets. The man worked as an inventor, a famous inventor. Quillish Wammy. He often came to London to visit the various museums and meet with fellow inventors for discussions and talks. As he was trying to find his way back to the hotel he was currently staying in. He took a wrong turn and soon discovered he was lost. He sighed as he turned and headed down a small dark street.

"I'm sure I have taken a wrong turn somewhere," he took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his brow and then turned to look at his watch.

'10:30pm'

Quillish was about to pull out his mobile phone to contact Roger, another man he was staying with in the hotel, when he heard what sounded like shouting at the end of the alley. As he went to investigate, he saw a woman standing near a collection of industrial rubbish bins screaming. He approached the woman as she looked very distressed and even upset.

"Madam what ever is wrong, you look like you are concerned about something," The woman looked up and sighed in relief as she saw the man.

"Oh sir, I thought I just heard something in the rubbish bins, I thought It may be a fox or something and the thought of animals terrifies me".Quillish looked at the woman again, she looked around 18, short blond hair and wearing a waitress' uniform.

"Don't worry ma'am, I'll check and scare away and offending animals," he smiled as he began to inspect the bins. He began pulled away one of the bigger bins and as he did he thought he heard a tiny whimper. Confused, he moved the bin completley away from the wall, he froze with what he saw, and the woman covered her mouth in shock.

Hiding behind the bins, cowered a small child, extremely thin, pale skin which looked almost translucent, thick black hair and large dark eyes. He wore a massive hooded jumper which was torn and filthy, and also wore a pair of torn jeans but no shoes, just dirty, cut and scarred bare feet. Quillish bent down and held his hand out to the child, Quillish felt incredible sadness as he saw how the small boy flinched as he reached his arm out and tried his best to cower as far into the wall as possible.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you," Quillish said in the softest voice he could manage. The small boy looked directly into his eyes. Quillish could see the terror held in the small child's obsidian eyes and he backed away further. The woman could barley keep back tears as she saw the boy try to escape any human contact they attempted to give him. Quillish calmly approched the small boy further,

"My name is Quillish Wammy, but you can call me Watari, what's your name?" He said holding his hand out again smiling at the child. The small boy slowly came forward from his safe spot on the wall, Watari then moved his arm slightly and he cowered down onto the floor. Watari could only compare the child to a dog that had been beaten into submission by it's cruel master.

"It's okay, I promise I won't hurt you, I can take you somewhere where you will never have to be scared," Watari held his hand out again as the small boy looked up and held his own tiny arm out. Watari could see every bone in his tiny hand, he was obviously not well fed and he was very emaciated. As Watari reached to hold e small child's hand, he saw the fear I'm his large, sad eyes. The small boy pulled away and collapsed into the bins. Watari grabbed the tiny boy and saw he was Completley unconscious.

"Ma'am I shall take him to the nearest hospital, could you direct me to the closest?" The woman nodded and Watari picked up the small, unconscious boy and was lead to a local hospital.

_'What on earth have you been through?_' He thought as he followed the woman to the nearest hospital.


	2. Chapter 2 - A boy called L

**Hi guys! Thankyou so much to everyone who read the first chapter, I would have got this one up earlier but I've been watching Attack on Titan all day (Levi OMFG fangirling lol) and sort of forgot to update it haha ;) so here is the second chapter, hope you enjoy and please review if you do! **

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Chapter 2 - A boy called L

Watari had taken the small boy to the nearest hospital the previous evening. It was now early morning and he was sat in a small room watching over him. He was layed asleep in the small hospital bed. The hospital had never seen a child in such a state before, he was incredibly thin, was covered in bruises, fresh cuts and scars. He wore clothes which looked as if they were from dustbins and he wore no shoes on his tiny scared feet. The boy had an IV in his right arm giving much needed fluids to the dehydrated body. Watari sat with him until a nurse came through to check on them both.

"How is he?" Watari asked. He was very concerned about the poor child. He had called Roger just after arriving and was expecting him to also arrive soon.

"Well he is extremely dehydrated and malnourished. I'd be surprised if he has ever eaten a full meal. It looks like he has been either abused or has been living on the streets. So far we cannot find anything about him. No one in the area he was found seems to recognise a boy of his description," The nurse sighed as she finished checking the IV.

"He seemed terrified of me when he saw me. He didn't want any human contact at all. It was almost like a dog had been beaten by an evil master. I run an orphanage and I have seen many children come in with a slight fear of people. But the way he was, it was almost like he was feral. He was terrified," Watari glanced over to the small boy. Still sleeping, he wondered what the boys reaction would be when he woke up. Just as the nurse was abuout to speak, Roger and another doctor entered the room.

"Ah Watari, I came as quickly as I could when I heard what had happened,". Roger said as he made his way into the room after the doctor.

"Ah now we have both of you I would like to ask you a question," the doctor said as the nurse left the room. He stood beside the bed which the child lay in. Roger and Watari both turned to face the doctor and listen to what he had to say.

"I heard from Mr Ruive that you both run an orphanage in Winchester. This boy, wherever he has come from cannot go back to wherever he came from. Would you be willing to take him to your orphanage?" Watari smiled at the doctor.

"Ofcourse, as soon as he his ready to leave here..." just as Watari was talking, the small child in the bed started to wake up. He opened his big, obsidian eyes and shot up as he saw the people in the room. He felt a tug on his arm and looked down to see the catheter that was placed into his arm. In a panic he tried to remove it as the doctor ran towards him to try calm him down.

"Hey, its okay don't take that out it will bleed a lot and you don't want that!" the doctor raised his hand to reach for the boys arm but the small child panicked and cowered away and started shaking erratically. The doctor lowered his arm and backed off slowly. He had never seen a child act so fearful towards another person.  
"Hey don't worry I'm not going to hurt you," his words fell upon deaf ears as the child continued to shake and cower from the doctor. Watari and Roger watched on as the doctor turned to face them.  
"This poor child must have been through hell. He is more than terrified of me, is this the same way he reacted to you?" Watari just nodded as the doctor backed away from the boy and watched the shaking child as he looked at the other people in the room with a terrified glare. Watari slowly walked up to him and crouched down next to the bed.

"No one here is going to hurt you," he said with the softest voice possible, "What's your name? Do you have one?". The little boy gulped as he heard the mans question and nodded slowly. "L," he stammered. The fear clear in his voice. Watari smiled again at him.  
"Well, L, is that your full name?" L ignored him and turned his head away. "Do you have a home? Parents that could come and get you?" No sooner than when the words left Watari's mouth, L's eyes opened wide and tears were beginning to form in his wide, black eyes.  
"Don't make me go back please! Not them, No people, please leave me alone!" L put his hands over his eyes and started the uncontrollable shaking again. The doctor looked on in utter confusion as L panicked.  
"No if you don't want to we won't take you back, did they hurt you?" L slowly peeled his hands away from his face and wiped the tears away.  
"I...I can't... tell, go away" he stammered, Watari, Roger and the doctor could see nothing but fear in L's eyes and body language. They had no idea what he had been through, but clearly it had been an extremley tramatic experience.

"L, you don't need to be afraid, whatever has happened, it will not happen again while I am here do you understand?" Watari placed his hand on L's bed and smiled. L just stared, wide eyed, at the hand and still shook with fear. Watari smiled at him again and left his hand on the bed. L just stared at it and looked back at Watari,

"Why are you not hitting me? I'm bad, I am worthless, I'm a dog," Watari looked shocked with what L came out with, what kind of heartless people would call a child those things?

"L you are not bad, or worthless. And you are certainly not a dog," He put his hand on L's and L flinched but he didn't move. Watari felt that the poor boy must have never had a kind human touch, never had someone to love him. L placed his other small hand on the older mans.

"Your not lying are you?"

"No L, I would never lie to you," L sighed as he heard the answer he had wanted to here,

"Don't leave me, please. Don't make me go back, your kind," L stared into Watari's eyes, it was clear to see he was still terrified. But he had something else their now, trust. Watari smiled at him again,

"I promise, when you can leave, I'm going to take you to a place were you will grow up and be safe from anyone ever hurting you again. It's a place called Wammys House in Winchester,"

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**Don't thing this turned out as well as I wanted, but I needed this chapter done for 3 reasons, **

**1) for you guys lol**

**2) so I could begin the main story**

**3) so I could return to my Levi XD**

**Please review if you enjoyed and I'll see you next time for the next chapter! **


	3. Chapter 3 - Mystery

**Hello guys! Here is the next chapter :) I hope you enjoy it, took me a while to write as I have been quite busy but I managed to get it done and update it! So I hope you. Enjoy and please review if you do!~ LouiseLawliet x**

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Chapter 3 - Mystery

It had been little over a week since L had been admitted to hospital. He was still unbelievably terrified of every person that attempted to get close. Apart from one. Watari. He allowed him close and trusted him. Watari was glad he was finally being trusted by the frightened boy. It took a whole week before L was ok with having a proper conversation with him. They didn't last very long but it was progress. He still however panicked and retreated to his fearful state as soon as any other person attempted to make contact with him. Watari stood outside the boys hospital room with one of the doctors assigned to look after L.

"Well Mr Watari, L is ok to leave the hospital today. However as you probably are already aware he is has extreme mental injuries which could affect his entire development. We estimate his age to be around 6 or 7 but cannot be sure without a birth certificate. Any concerns be sure to bring him back," Watari nodded as he looked back into L's room. He was asleep for the moment. He had no idea how L would react to being in a situation with many people around, but he thought it would be hard for him to adjust into Wammy's house. He entered L's room and sat by the sleeping boy's bed.

"L, we can leave now if you wake up," he said as softly as possible. He placed his hand on L's arm and with the slight contact L flinched and shot up, eyes filled with fear.

"Oh it's you, the nice man," he said as he slowly calmed down. Watari knew L must have had a traumatic life to react like this every time someone touched him.

"Yes L, we can leave now. You can come home with me to Wammy's house. I'm sure you will like it there," Watari looked into L's eyes as he seemed to be thinking Watari's statement over in his mind.

"Please... Don't take me back... Not to them... Ever" he said, Watari looked at him confused until the realisation hit him. L must have meant his parents.

"L I promise, whatever happened. It won't happen again, I promise. You won't go back to wherever you came from, you will stay with me," L shyed away from Watari's hand as he attempted to comfort him. "L your okay, no one will hurt you, I certainly wont."

"Your the first person who hasn't.." Watari mentally cried at what L had just said. Did he really mean that? Every other person he had met had hurt him in someway? Whatever he meant, he could see that L clearly meant it. Still fear glazed the child's obsidian eyes. Watari put his hand on the bed and sighed.

"L no one will hurt you ever again whilst I am around, I promise," L looked up at Watari for the first time with more trust in his eyes than fear.

"Thankyou Mister Watari, your nice," And with that L shot out of the bed and latched onto Watari like a leech. Watari smiled as he assumed this was the first time L had been confident enough to show another human any affection, seeing as it seems no one but him showed L any. He smiled and put his hand in L's mess of raven locks,

"come on L, let's go home,"

_2 Hours Later_

L and Watari finally reached Wammy's house in Winchester, snow had begun to fall as Watari drove the black limousine up the drive. L crouched on the seat and had his arms wrapped round himself. When the car stopped he flinched a little as the sudden silence made him jump. Watari turned to look at L who turned to look out of the window.

"Well L we are here," he said as he stepped out and went to let L out of the large vehicle. L gripped onto the seat with the same look of fear that he gave Watari when he first met him. "L it's okay, no one here will hurt you,". Watari lifted L from the car and placed him on the ground. L grabbed the bottom of Watari's large coat and didn't let go. Watari just looked down and smiled. He knew how hard this would be for L. He would need to get used to people sooner rather than later, but with an apparent traumatic past that would be seemingly difficult. He slowly lead L up the large steps infront of the large double doors that lead into the building. As soon as Watari entered, their were a whole load of kids staring, and whispering;

'_Is that the new kid?'_

_'he looks scared'_

_'god he is just a wimp'_

_'wonder where his is from?'_

L gripped onto Watari's coat even tighter than before and tried to hide in the large piece of clothing. Watari noticed this and shooed the other children away as best he could, he didn't need L being scared out of his kind anymore than he already was. He lead L into Rogers office and closed the door, greeting Roger as he walked in.

"So your finally here Quillish, I was beginning to worry," Roger smiled at L who buried his face in Watari's coat.

"He is still very frightened," Watari said as he tried to reasure L at the same time. Roger turned to Watari and stood from his desk walking towards them. He knelt down so he was eye-level with L.

"Hello, I'm Roger, we met at the hospital, shall we show you were your room is?" L gripped onto Watari tighter and looked away,

"please don't hurt me!" He whimpered, Roger looked confused as did Watari.

"Why would I hurt you L?"

"Because people always hurt me when they take me to the room," Watari felt L latch onto him even tighter than he thought was possible. What could L mean, the room? He looked down at L and placed his hand on the quivering child's head.

"I'll take him Roger, he might be less nervous if it's just me with him," Roger nodded as Watari lead L out of the room and along the corridor. He lead L into the room at the end of the long corridor. Once Watari closed the door L let go of him and ran to the oppersite end off the room shaking. Watari looked incredibly confused at the situation.

"L what's wrong?" He approched L as the shaking increased in the boys small body.

"Please, no don't do it I promise I won't be bad please don't do it!" L cowered away as Watari tried to calm him down.

"L please, what's the matter? I'm not going to hurt you?" he looked at L and saw tears forming in his dark eyes.

"He... always does... bad things when he... closes the door,"

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**Thats it for today, I'll update Red Mist soon also, Review if you enjoyed and hope to see you for the next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4 - The Room

**Hi guys :) thankyou to everyone who has been reading this fic it means a lot! Sensitive topics are covered in this topic (child abuse etc.) so thought I'd warn. Please review :) ! ~ LouiseLawliet**

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Chapter 4 - The Room

_"Get back here you little shit!" The loud bellowing could be heard through the entire 2 bedroom house. A small child, no older than 5 ran down through the filth filled building trying to get away from the adult male chasing after him. The child made it into the kitchen and into the small cupboard under the sink and made himself as small as possible._

_"L get your sorry arse here now or you know what's fucking coming," L couldn't hold back the shaking which slowly overtook his tiny body. He placed this thumb in his mouth as it comforted him slightly. But then he heard more voices and he recognised each one, terrifying the boy further. _

_"Where the fuck is he?," _

_"How the fuck should I know, He better come out or else," _

_L heard footsteps infront of his hiding place in the tiny cupboard and cowered further back when the doors flung open._

_"Oi I found him," L tried to escape but to no evail as he was dragged from the tiny cupboard._

_"Oh L you are a little shit why the fuck do I still keep you, you filthy fucking dog!" The man shouted as he kicked the child down to the floor. L cowered away from his abuser as the man grabbed his matted raven haif and lifted him back to his feet. L was so terrified he couldn't even scream as the mans face came to his. _

_"And you know what we do with filthy dogs don't you?" _

_"No.. Please... not there please!" L's please fell upon deaf ears as he was dragged through the rubbish filled hall and up the broken wooden stairs. L panicked when he saw the door to the room on the left. The room he feared the most. L was thrown into the small box room as the two men slammed the door. L shook and cowered away from the men who abused him on a daily basis._

_"Please...daddy... I'm sorry please don't!" He pleaded as the man approached him and slapped him across the face._

_"I am not your daddy. I am your master, and you are the filthy dog who needs punishing like the scum you are," L flinched as the man brought a large leather belt from behind him. The man lifted L from the ground by his shirt and tore it from the shaking mess that was L. He brought the metal buckle to L's skin with as much force as he could. Over and over again, placing fresh cuts and black bruises over the half healed gashes and silvery scars already plaguing the child's body. After a few minutes of being beaten senselessly by his father, L let out a tiny whimper as the belt ceased hitting him. His father then grabbed L by the hair and flung him down to the floor._

_"You will never fucking learn will you? I don't know why I even bother to keep you. Your just a waste of space, my money and my time," he kicked L again and left the room. The second man just spat on him and glared down at the blood seeping into the wooden floor._

_"Filthy dog," he spat as he walked out of the room, locking it from the outside. _

"L... L? L what's wrong? What's the room?" Watari stared at L as he looked almost on the verge of collapse. The levels of fear in the child's small body seeming to increase every second. He reached out to touch L but L retreated away,

"NO! Don't touch me!" L shrieked as he ran from Watari in an attempt to escape.

"L please calm down, what's the matter?"

"Keep away! Please, I haven't been bad, please don't!" Watari saw L was in a complete panicked state. He remembered the statement L had given previously about the closed door. He walked towards the door and opened it so it was open around half way.

"L look, I'm not going to hurt you, please calm down," L turned to Watari and wiped his face as he collapsed on the floor whimpering.

"Your not going to hit me?" L whimpered as he looked at Watari wide eyed.

"Of course not, why would I hit you? Has someone been hitting you?"

L hiccuped and looked down to the floor. He gulped as he slowly lifted his jumper over his head. Watari stared in shock as he saw the hundreds of scars and half healed gashes on the tiny child's body. He was also very thin and he could see all of his small ribs. L gulped as he turned around to display his back to Watari, which was a smililar story to his front. Most prominent was a large half healed gash which looked to go across his back and was around 10cm long.

"Oh L what have they done to you?" He watched as L quickly put his jumper back on and he crouched In the middle of the floor crying.

"You said you wasn't going to hurt me, did you really mean it?" L sniffed as he brought his head up to look at Watari.

"L I promise, no harm will come to you when I am here,". L ran at Watari and gripped him round his leg. Watari smiled at L when he lifted his head and looked up at him through the thick raven bangs that covered his eyes.

"Thankyou Mister Watari, I didn't think you got nice people," L buried his head into Watari's long jacket and gripped round his leg and held it tightly.

'It may have been slow, but things could be starting to progress with him' Watari thought as he carefully placed his hand on L's head. He flinched, but didn't move away.

"we will keep you safe L, you home now,"


	5. Chapter 5 - Trust Me

**Hi everyone :) here is today's chapter! Introducing my other main character in this chapter! Hope you enjoy and please review if you do!**

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Chapter 5 - Trust Me

_He ran. He tried to get away. But his legs felt heavy, sluggish. He couldn't get away. He was too slow. He was grabbed, dragged down into the tiny room and thrown against the wall. The man lifted him up by his hair and held a belt to white skin of his face. Then the belt was raised and..._

"AAHH!" L screamed as he shot out of the bed and across the room. He panicked and ran into the small bathroom and looked for sanctuary. He climbed into the small cupboard underneath the sink and hid there whilst his body trembled uncontrollably.

"Please don't find me, please stay away," he stuttered as he put his thumb in his mouth and nibbled the skin around it. He felt this comfort him slightly as he curled up in the cupboard and tried to calm his breathing.

_The next morning_

Watari sat in Rogers office. Both men had a coffee as they did every morning, talking about the day previous and any agendas of the day that needed to be sorted.

"Wammy, have you checked on that child you brought back yesterday?" Roger sipped his coffee as Watari looked up from a file he was reading from.

"No, I am going to check on his in a moment if you would like to accompany me?" Roger nodded as he stood, finishing his coffee and leaving the mug on the wooden desk. He followed Watari down the corridor and into the room where he left L asleep the previous evening.

"L good... L?" Watari was shocked not to find the child in the bed.

"Wammy this is the right room isn't it?" Watari was confused, he turned to Roger and sighed.

"No this is the correct room. Maybe he is just in the bathroom," Watari approached the bathroom and slowly pushed the door open.

"L are you in here?" He asked as he entered the small bathroom. He couldn't see L anywhere and it confused him even further.

"L where are you?" He said a little louder. And almost instantly L burst from the tiny cupboard from under the sink, in tears, and latched into Watari's legs.

"L what on earth are you doing in there?!" Roger heard Watari and walked over to see the commotion.

"He came! He came! I couldn't get away and he tried to hurt me again!" L was in panic mode again and Watari bent down to try and calm him down.

"L your okay, you must have had a night mare. Don't worry, no-one came your okay," L wouldn't let go of Watari and Roger looked at them both.

"Quillish I'll need to talk to you in my office when you are done here," and Roger walked out from the room. Watari watched him leave and turned back to L.

"L please calm down, why did you go I'm the cupboard?" L sniffed and looked up at Watari,

"Because sometimes people don't find me why I hide in cupboards, so I hid until you came," hugged Watari tighter as Watari lay his hand on L's thick raven hair.

"You just need to learn to trust people," Watari tried to leave L but he wouldn't let go.

"No mister Watari don't leave me, your nice," Watari sighed and pried L from him.

"L I just need to speak to Roger, I'll be back as soon as Im done," L then ran back into the small cupboard and closed one of the doors.

"Then I'm staying in here till you come back, I don't want to be found," and then he closed the other door quickly making sure it was Completley closed. Watari sighed but left L. He knew if he wanted to come out, he would. Watari exited L's room but made sure to leave the door of the bedroom slightly open as he knew L was terrified of the doors to rooms being closed. He walled back down the corridor to Rogers office.

"Ah Quillish I was wondering what was taking you so long, what is the situation with L?"

Watari sat down and turned back to Roger, "Well, he has currently shut himself in the cupboard we found him in just. He is very insecure and he told me he doesn't want to be found,"

"Not found by who?"

"Other people, he is terrified of people. I don't blame him to be honest. From what I learnt last night. He hasn't had a nice childhood. Not at all." Watari then began to explain everything that L had told him, and shown him the previous night.

_Back in the corridor_

A young boy was running happily down the main corridor. He was around 9 years old. He had thick black hair which was in a bowl cut and wore a simple white collared shirt, brown trousers and brown leather shoes. He ceased running when he became out of breath and starting to walk down the corridor. He wondered along until he reached a roo, which the door was slightly open.

'Ooh I wonder what's in here!' He thought as he walked into the room. He looked around the simple room. It contained a small single bed - which looked as if it had been slept in as the duvet had been thrown to the floor, a oak bedside cabinet - which sat next to the bed - ontop of which was a vase with some flowers. Their was also a smallish wardrobe which was against the far wall. The young boy noticed the door which lead to the bathroom. As he ran in, L opened the cupboard to see if Watari had returned. As he made eye contact with the other boy, he gasped and slammed the door shut.

"Hey!" The young boy laughed, "Why are you hiding in the cupboard? Are you playing hide and seek?" He got no answer.

"How am I supposed to be your friend if you won't say hello?" He questioned.

L slowly opened the cupboard with a scared but interested look on his face. "Friend?"

"Yeah sure! My name is Lawsford Islington, but call me Levi ok?" Levi knelt down as L gazed at him. Levi smiled and put his hand out towards L, "you coming out? or you just gonna hide away all day!" L hesitated but accepted Levi's hand and took it and the older child helped him out.

"So I guess your new here? I've introduced myself, so now its your turn! what's your name?" Levi waited with great anticipation. L gulped and sighed.

"I... I am L,"

"L? That's a strange name, do you have a last name too?" L nodded but hesitated to tell him.

"It's okay you don't have to tell me, not if you don't want to anyway," Levi grabbed L's hand again and pulled him into the bedroom. L retreated his hand away and looked at Levi with a very frightened look.

"What's wrong L? Don't look so scared. So want to play a game with me? I bet you will like it! Watari showed me how to play," L cocked his head slightly and looked at Levi.

"I... I haven't played a game before..." He stuttered as he looked up at the older boy who had a great look of disbelief.

"Well you will love this game! Trust me! It's called chess, come to my room and I'll show you how to play!" L watched Levi run out of the room at a remarkable speed.

"Are you coming or what?!" Levi shouted as he peeked his head around the door, L could here what sounded like excitement in his voice. He hesitated slightly but indeed followed Levi out from the room. He hadn't had any contact with people around his age. He just felt that Levi was different to the other people he had met in his life. He seemed, kind.

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**I don't think this chapter is as good as it could be but I wanted to make a quick chapter introducing Levi :) So I hope you enjoyed it and hope to see you for the next chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6 - Hidden Talent

**Hi everyone! I hope your all okay :P Here is the next chapter, hope you all enjoy it. I start college again on Monday (nooo lol) so might not be able to update my stories as regularly. So annoying but college is college. But for now I'll update as much as I can :) hope you enjoy this chapter and please review of you do! ~ Louise Lawliet**

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Chapter 6 - Hidden Talent

_Rogers Office_

Roger sat in disbelief after hearing from Watari what L had shown/told him. A child, who was no older than 7 had been subjected to torture he could only compare to the medieval ages.

"Could you tell what caused all those scars on him?" He asked, knowing what the answer would probably be.

"Well from the size and severity of the wounds and his behavior towards people, I would say he has been beaten by whoever 'looked after' him and possibly various others with some form of whip or belt. It's not a simple fact that he is scared of going back to where he came from, it's that he is terrified of people in general. Something which could take a long time to turn around," Watari wiped his face with a handkerchief and turned to look out of the window.

"Do you think you can help him Quillish? From the behavior I have seen, he seems like a lost cause," Roger walked over to Watari as he waited for him to reply,

"Roger, I will help this child. There is something about him that makes me feel that I can change him,"

"Okay Quillish, I'll trust you this once. He is your responsibility," Roger sounded Skeptical, but Watari was sure. He would help L.

_Levi's Room_

"I believe that's checkmate?" Levi stared in disbelief! He had only shown L how to play chess half an hour ago and still he had beaten him!

"Wow L, you sure you haven't played this before? Your really good!"

"I've never... played any game before, it's just simple strategy I suppose,"

"Well you are good at it, you should play with Watari one day! He is a master chess player. I've never beaten him, but I bet you could first try!"

L looked up at Levi, who had a massive smile plastered on his face. L couldn't work out why he was being so nice to him. No other person had ever shown him anything such as friendship. Was this what it was like?

"By the way L, how long have you been here? I've never seen you before today!"

"Erm... I came yesterday.." L stuttered, Levi noticed the hesitation in his voice and jumped down from his chair and went to sit by L's chair on the floor.

"Don't worry, whatever happened to you before you came, it won't happen again. Before I came, my mummy left me alone all day whilst she was working. She kept bringing men home and I was not to disturb her. And the men she brought, some where nice but some were mean and stank. Sometimes she left me for a few days all by myself.I thought it was normal, but one day she didn't come back. Then Watari brought me here and I love it. You will love it too!" Levi reached out and put his hand on L's back. L flinched and leapt off the chair and stared at Levi,

"Don't touch me!" L looked into Levi's blue-grey eyes and Levi looked into fearful black ones.

"L I'm sorry I didn't know, I Promise I won't do it again!" Levi walked toward L and L cowered slightly as the older boy came to him, "L, I wont do anything to you, why are you scared? I'm your friend I'm here to help you! Why don't we play chess again? I can try beat you this time! I don't think I will seeing as your so good!"

"Your Father.." L stated, Levi cocked his head in confusion,

"My father? What do you mean L?

"Did...did he like you?"

"I don't have one, well I don't remember having one anyway, why are you interested?"

"No reason," L sighed and returned to a crouched position on the chair he previously occupied, bringing his knees to his chest.

"Why do you sit like that L?" Levi asked with upmost curiosity. Even during their game of chess, L sat hunched over in a crouched position. Levi had never seen anyome sit like that before.

"It helps me think," L stared down to his feet as Levi took his seat oppersite in a normal sitting position.

"Maybe that's your secret to winning chess!" He laughed as he set up the chess pieces in the correct squares on the board. "Ready?" Levi made the first move and the two boys began their second game of chess.

_L's Room_

"L it's me, Watari. Are you okay?" Watari called as he made his way into L's room. He went into the bathroom to discover the cupboard L had been hidin in was open.

'_Oh god where is he?!' _Watari searched in every place in the room he could think off. He wasn't in any of the places Watari looked. Not in the bathroom, under the bed, in the wardrobe or anywhere else. Watari left the room and started calling his name,

"L! L were are you?!" He searched the halls and even his own office. But he couldn't find him. "Dear god L were are you?!" Watari sighed continuing to search the corridors.

_"Woah you beat me again! Your so good_!" Watari heard one of the children shout. He recognised the voice immediatly and went straight for the room.

"Levi can you keep... L what are you doing in here?" Watari sighed in relief when he found L crouched on a chair, oppersite Levi with a chess board Inbetween them.

"Mr Watari! You should see L! He is amazing at chess! Even better than me and I only showed him a short while ago. He beat me the first time and just this second time!" Watari smiled the beaming child as he walked towards L.

"L, have you made a friend?" L just looked up at Watari and scratched his ebony locks,

"Am I allowed friends?" He murmured, Watari smiled down at him and chuckled a little.

"Of course you are L, Levi here is the cleverest child at Wammys, his IQ is 180 which is amazing for a child as young as himself," Levi was virtually bouncing up and down at the praise.

"Mr Watari! Test L's IQ! I bet he is even cleverer than me! He beat me at chess and he has never played it before! Go on L, why don't you do Watari's test?!"

L wrapped his arms tighter around his legs and held his knees closer to his chest and sighed, "But, they said I was worthless. A dog isn't clever. He just does as he is told,"

Levi looked incredibly confused and Watari just sighed and looked at L, "L, you are not a dog, you are not worthless. You are a human being who has as much a place on earth than every one else, f you want to test your IQ you can," L lifted his head and a tiny smile onto his face, very small but Watari noticed.

"Thankyou Mr Watari, I would like to take the test if I am allowed,"

"Of course you are L," Watari smiled as L jumped from the chair and wrapped his arms around his legs.

"Yay L!" Levi shouted as he bounced around the room like an overly excited kangaroo.

"Levi calm down, your hyperactivity will get you into trouble one day," Levi fell to the floor in laughter and L watched as Watari shook his head laughing to himself.

"Levi get up, come on why don't you show L around Wammys a little more," Levi leapt from the floor and walked up to L and smiled.

"Okay! Come on L, just follow me and I will show you all the great things in Wammys! Even the pond!"

"Levi if you take the fish out of the pond again I won't be best impressed," Watari looked toward Levi with a stern look.

"aww!" He sighed as he skipped out of the room. L looked up at Watari and then to Levi who stood waiting by the door.

_'Is this what friendship is like? Are people really like this? I've never experienced anything like this'_ he thought as he let go of Watari and followed Levi out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7 - Opening Up the Past

**Hi everyone :) Here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it and please to leave a review if you do :) ~Louise Lawliet**

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Chapter 7 - Opening up the Past

**Levi's POV**

I was showing L round the entire of Wammys! Their was a lot to show him. Especially in the garden! I really wanted to show him all the fish in the pond. But Watari was being a meanie saying I can't cuddle them, but fish like to be stroked! Watari always says I might be the cleverest child at Wammys, but I'm the one that's trusted least by him. Well it's not my fault, I just have a curious personality. That's why I was curious about L. A boy with a letter for a name who was scared of everything. He didn't even have a last name. Well, he wouldn't tell me. I decided against going to the pond because of temptation. I would end up cuddling the fish and Watari might tell me off. Or worse, tell Roger! So I took him to the kitchen, to show him the wonderous fridge!

"Okay L, here is the kitchen! My favourite part of Wammys. Want some cake?" I smiled at him and he looked at me and out his thumb in his mouth. He liked to chew the skin next to the nail, maybe a comfort thing?

"Erm... Cake?" What, had L never had cake before?! Poor Kid.

"Yeah cake! It's really yummy! It was one of the cleaners birthdays yesterday, so I think their is still some left!" I climbed up on the counter so I could reach the top shelf of the fridge and opened the door.

"Levi... please don't... He will come for me..." L looked scared, who was 'he?'

"No one is coming L, and we won't get into trouble, we are allowed. It's everybodies kitchen!" I reached for the cake and managed to grab the plate with the edges of my fingers. I brought it slowly forward until I could grab the entire plate. Then I jumped down and smiled at L, "As long as we make sure their is still some left for other children, it's okay!" I grabbed a knife out from a draw and cut us both a small piece. I handed it to him and he just stared at it. I shoved mine in my mouth and smiled, "Go on, Wafari won't mwind," I started to laugh when the words came from my cake filled mouth. It sounded so funny! He took a tiny bite and then i saw a smile come on that pale face. He scoffed it in so fast, nearly as me!

"Good Right?!" He nodded fast and licked his lips. I laughed and smiled at him,

"If you like this cake, you will love it when Watari makes it! This one is a shop bought, homemade cake is the best!"

"I've never had anything home made before, he just brought me stuff when he ate most of it," he shrunk back a little when he realised what he just said. Even I was a little shocked, did L really just live of left overs? It would explain his skinny body. I was always told I was under weight. And If I was that, L was off the end of the scale. The way he ate the cake when he tried it, was like he didn't eat anything for a while.

**L's POV**

I didn't mean to tell him that. I was told never to tell any other person of myself. And a dog never disobeyes his master. Levi frightened me, but also intregued me. I wanted to get to know him better, I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to have another person I could be friends with. But I couldn't. I couldn't trust something like that. Not after what people had done to me. Watari, Levi, even that man Roger. They acted so kind. 'Acted' being the main word. He acted, he pretended to be nice. Then he took me to the room and...and...

"L are you okay?" I turned my head to see Levi looking at me, I didn't know what to do. I had no social skills what so ever. Conversing with people wasn't something I had done very often, I felt panic, I just wanted to be alone.

"Can I go back to my room now?" I just wanted to feel safe, I wanted to go back to some familiarity, even though nothing was familiar anymore.

"Sure it's getting on a bit now. Don't forget, you wanted to do that IQ test! You should ask Watari to do it tomorrow!"

He smiled at me again, id never met a person like him. Were all people my age like him? Then become like HIM when they mature? But then their was Watari, he was kind. But again I'd never really met an older man before, or some one my age.

"Yeah, I suppose I'll have to ask him," I turned to leave and he put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me towards him. No, no please why would he do that when he had been so nice!

"don't touch me please!" I begged and began to hyperventilate and I felt faint. Why did he do that when he had been friendly, it was just like HIM. I cowered away from him, I didn't know what he might do to me know, oh god I can't.

"L what's wrong? please calm down,"

**Levi's POV**

L started shaking and cowering away, he was breathing really erratically too. I didn't know what to do, I'd never seen anyone act like that before. All I did was pull him back towards me, what had I done so wrong?

"L it's okay please calm down," I tried to comfort him but it was all in vain, he continued hyperventilating and looked in a complete state of panic I couldn't do anything but shout for Watari.

_2 Hours Later_

Watari had finally managed to calm L down. He told me L was having a panic attack. I hadn't realised how bad me just pulling him towards me had affected him. Roger had taken me into his office shortly after Watari came to L. He told me how even just touching L could send him over the edge. L had been abused, he had never seen a kind person before he came here. Roger told me after years of abuse, L didn't view people as normal people did. He viewed them as abusive and horrid creatures that just hurt him. I couldn't even imagine that. Every person that L ever met hurt him. And something as a simple touch opened up a whole world of abuse back in L's mind. He was so frightened he wouldnt even tell Roger Or Watari his full name. He has barley let anyone into his past life. Only Watari had a small glimpse of some of the horrors that L has gone through. Roger wouldn't tell me everything because he said it was far to personal. But I wanted to help L. He couldn't go on living in the past. I could see something in him, something that made me believe that L will be someone great. He just needs a little help getting their.


	8. Chapter 8 - Brewing Storms

**Hi guys :) sorry I haven't updated recently, I had college and started to read other fanfics, cosplayed BB a bit and have been reading the Death Note manga haha ;) but here is an update for you! Sorry it's only short but I will try update my other story tomorrow (sunday) and this one again on Monday :) I hope you enjoy and please leave a review if you do it means a lot :) ~Louise Lawliet **

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Chapter 8 - Brewing Storms

L tossed and turned in his small single bed as he shook beneath the duvet. Small whimpers could be heard as he tried to bury himself deeper within the comforter. L peeked his head out, black bangs covering his eyes, and looked towards the window as a large flash lit the entire room for less than a second. L flinched as he held the duvet tighter over his trembling body. A loud, low rumble was heard by the young boy as the storm grew closer. He felt tears starting to form in his eyes as another flash brightened the room.

_"Daddy please, I'm Scared!" L pleaded as he was dragged by his raven hair along the tiny council property he lived in.  
"I don't give two fucks you little shit," L struggled as he was thrown to the floor of the filthy kitchen at the back of the small house. L watched as keys were brought out from his fathers pockets and the back door opened.  
"Daddy No please don't make me go out there! I'm sorry ill be good!" his pleas fell on deaf ears as he was kicked out of the back door and fell into the tiny muddy yard.  
"And you can fucking stay out their were you belong like the stupid fucking worthless animal you are," L flinched as the door slammed and he heard the key turn in the lock.  
_

L cried out as he heard another loud rumble of thunder echo through the empty room, he heard the rain lashing onto his window with incredible force and the tears fell from his eyes down his pale cheeks and fell into the duvet. As another white flash came into the room he jumped up from the bed, duvet wrapped tightly around his shivering body, and dove under the bed. He tried to control his breathing and fear, but with every flash of lightening and every rumble of thunder he became more and more terrified.

_L shivered as the harsh rain fell onto his tiny, emaciated body. The lightening flashed and he ran behind a pile of rotten wood at the very end of the yard. L looked up at the sky as another flash of electricity forked across the blackened sky. He buried himself deep within the rotten pile of wood as best he could as he tried his best to stay warm. But with the harsh rain, bitter wind and the storm frightening the last ounces of sanity left in his broken mind, it wouldn't be easy._

Another loud clap of thunder resonated through the room and L cried out in fear. He couldn't stop the flow of tears from his ebony eyes any longer. They fell onto the floor and soaked the duvet as he buried his head in deeper.  
"L are you okay?" he heard a voice, a familiar voice. Not one of evil, cruelty. But worry and concern.  
"LEVI!" L screamed as he ran from beneath the bed and latched onto his friend in hysterical tears.  
"L what's wrong?" Levi soon got his answer as another crack of thunder caused the terrified L to dig his nails into Levi's back.  
"L. Are you scared?" L nodded as he buried his head in Levi's dressing gown.  
"Oh L, you don't need to be scared, Thunder can't hurt you, its outside. And your inside. Your safe!"

_The rain fell through the gaps in the pile of wood that was currently housing L. The storm still ripped through the sky as L lay shivering beneath the discarded rubble. He sniffed and wiped his raven bangs from his face as another spark of lightening lit up the sky. L brought his knees to his chest and allowed himself to fall into the mud on the ground. He didn't understand what he had done to deserve this. Ripped from the tiny room he had been left in to bleed and tossed out into the harsh storm. His soaked clothes clung to his body like a tight wrap. His body shivered in a vain attempt to keep itself warm. Trying to generate any heat possible to stop hyperthermia. L held his legs tightly to his chest as he closed his eyes and allowed the darkness to take over his eyes._

Levi tried his best to comfort L but he couldn't get through to him. L clung onto him like a leech onto another's skin as he sobbed into his Pyjamas. Levi dropped him and L to the soft carpet and tried to comfort him.

"L, Don't be afraid. Being afraid is a sign of common sense. Only idiots are not afraid of anything,"  
"He made me, he sent me out. What If he gets me. LEVI WHAT IF HE COMES TO TAKE ME AWAY!" L was hysterical as he gripped onto his friend tighter. Levi flinched a little at the slight pain it caused but he didn't try pry L away. He needed to help L. L couldn't be scared forever. He couldn't keep living in fear of everything.  
"L, he is gone. He wont come back. He wont send you out. He wont get you," Levi tried to think of various things to say to the terrified boy gripping onto him but it was slightly difficult. He didn't even know who "he" was.  
"But what if he does. What if he makes me sit outside again. What if he takes me to the room. What if he makes me bleed again. What if he takes me away from here!"  
"L he wont. I wont let him."  
Another flash of lightening flickered through the room. Levi noticed the frequency of the flashes had lessened. As with the loud bangs of thunder. The storm was passing over. Hopefully soon it would go completely. L still shook and sobbed into Levi but he brought his head to look into Levi's eyes. Levi scratched his head and smiled down at L.  
"L, the storm is only a storm. They pass. It's okay to be afraid of something. Everybody is afraid of something...,"  
"My father wasn't," L muttered. Levi had to hold in a gasp as L turned his head away, _'So that's who he meant, his father? His father... his father made him so afraid? But what about a mother? Does L even know her?'  
"_Well, I will make him afraid," Levi chuckled as L cocked his head slightly.  
"Of...Of what?"  
"Me!," Levi laughed as L released Levi with one of his hands and wiped his tear stained face.  
Levi and L stayed on the floor of L's bedroom for a while longer as L slowly calmed down. Levi told L about fear. Fear wasn't something to look down on. Fear was something to use. Fear was something caused by the mind. And if you could concur your fears, you would become stronger. L looked up at his friend and Levi smiled again.  
"Listen L, What do you hear?" L looked confused, but still listened to the environment around the two boys.  
"Nothing,"  
"Exactly! The storm has gone now!" L looked franticly around the room as he listened for any sign of the terrifying storm. But not one sound was heard. Not even the pattering of rain on the window. L let go of Levi completely and placed his thumb to his mouth and nibbled on the skin surrounding the nail. Levi laughed and turned to leave but felt a hand grab onto his arm. He turned and L was looking up at him, with pleading eyes.  
"Levi, don't leave me alone. I don't want to be alone,"

4 Hours Later

Watari walked down the main bedroom corridor in Wammys. He was heading to check on L as he did every morning. He had heard the last of the storm,as it woke him in the early hours, and wasn't sure how L would have taken it. As he reached the door to L's room. He noticed it had been brought closed. He flung the door open and a smile came across his face. L lay sprawled out on the floor with his duvet covering the lower half of his body. And hanging off the bed was Levi who was gently snoring. Watari laughed and called for Roger. When Roger arrived and looked into the room, all he could do was smile also.  
"I told you I could get through to him," Roger sighed and turned to his colleague,  
"You did, but I believe Levi got through to him first," Both men chuckled quietly as they closed the door and left the two friends to sleep through the morning.


	9. Chapter 9 - Looking Up

**Hey guys, getting this update up but not sure how long it will be before the next, got a shit ton of college work to do. The joys of life lol! Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review if you do :) Thank you for reading this fic btw :) means a lot! ~ Louise Lawliet**

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Chapter 9 - Looking Up

L had been at the Wammys house for almost a month and so far Watari and Roger could not really break through his defensive barrier. Nor could Levi. L was so traumatised from his past it was difficult to mention it to the poor child without inducing a panic attack or making him even more fearful than he already was. Levi had help build L's confidence up to a certain extent but there was something blocking him from progressing anymore than he had. And it was almost clear to Watari and Roger what that block was after an incident that happened only a few short days ago.

**_Flash Back_**

_L was sitting in the large lounge area on the ground. He was crouched in the corner of the large room muttering something to himself when some of the other children entered the room. L looked up and instantly recognised the young boys who entered. He tensed up slightly and the boys looked over towards L and smirked._

_"Oh look it's Watari's new dog!" L winced at the remark and his body started to tremble as the 3 boys came towards him, "What's wrong pooch? Lost without your master?" L retreated furthur into the wall until he could go no further. One of the boys raised a fist to L and..._

_"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING DAMIEN?!" the boys turned and saw Watari standing in the doorway. Damien and the other 2 boys ran out of the room faster than a cheetah after it's prey. Watari walked over to a terrified L who just cowered away from him._

_"L, did they do anything to you?" L hesitated but slowly brought his head up and looked up at Watari._

_"I... I'm not your dog am I? He called me that. I'm his dog, he is sending people to hurt me... He is coming isn't he? Please don't let him get me," L leapt up and gripped onto Watari, "please don't let him get me pleeaassee!"_

**_Flash Back End_**

The two men quickly figured out the thing L feared most was not the other children, other people. It was the fear that his tormenter would return and get him. It was a very difficult situation to be landed in. It was almost impossible to be able to track L's tormentor down without L's real last name. He had a location (being the area L was found) but had not a name to go by. If he could get the persons full name it would be a lot easier to track them down, but it could also be done with using L's last name. But did the child even know of his last name, or was he to terrified to reveal it to anyone? Levi was the closest person to L at the moment and was given a task to try and get L's full name from him. But so far he had been unable to do this. L seemed extremely reluctant to give out any personal infomation, was there a reason to that? Everything L did seemed to be related to a reaction to fear. Could L have been beaten into keeping any personal infomation private? Or could he just have been beaten so much he didn't have an ounce of trust left in his tiny mind. L could really do with seeing a councillor or someone similar, but with his incredible trust issues with people, it would be pointless. They needed to solve the source of L's fear. Which was the person/people that tortured the poor boy from birth. Watari sipped his tea and looked out the window watching the happy children of Wammys Playing happily with each other, he wished for L to someday enjoy life as much as the others. But that wish was a long way off.

_Levi's Room_

Levi stared at the small pile of books in the corner of the room, behind which L sat reading one of the larger ones.

"Hey L! L whatcha reading?!" Levi crouched on the floor and lay on his stomach bringing his legs above his back. L peeked over a book and closed it when he saw Levi watching him.

"Sorry.. It looked interesting..." L placed the book down and brought his knees to his chest and placed his thumb on his lip.

"It's fine! What's mine is yours remember?! Ever since your IQ test yesterday you have been reading a lot! When did Roger say you will get the results?" Levi looked up at his friend with great anticipation in his eyes. L sighed and started nibbling the skin around his thumbnail.

"Erm... I think he said this afternoon... Maybe." Levi could tell L was nervous. He said he had never done a test before or even been to school.

"Awesome! Well good luck anyway!" Levi smiled and leapt up from the floor and ran to the other side of the room. L wiped the white sleeve of his shirt on his nose and slowly stood up and followed his only friend accross the room.

"You... You want me to do well?" L cocked his head in a nervous fashion as Levi turned and just smiled at him again,

"Well Duh, your my friend, why would I not want you to do well! Here want one?" Levi held out a small bag of Jelly Babies, L nodded and took one and eagerly out it into his mouth and smiled,

"Thankyou Levi," Levi smiled and laughed as he munched on a Jelly Baby himself. Levi wa currently the cleverest child in Wammys, probably the most charismatic too. But he was secretly hoping L would do better than him. If his chess playing skills were anything to go by, he would get more marks than the test had available! He saw something in L, a feeling he would one day be somebody great. And he hoped his feeling was right.

_2 hours later_

_Rogers Office_

Roger sat at his desk open mouthed, having just looked over L's IQ test. He read through it over and over again to make sure than he had marked it correctly.

"Erm... Quillish could you possibly come over here a second," Watari (who was sat accross the room) stood up and walked across the room towards the open mouthed Roger.

"What is it Roger? What are you looking at,"

"One second, can you look over this to make sure I am actually seeing what I am and not just markin this wrong. It's L's IQ test." Roger handed the paper over to Watari and he too began to scan over the paper.

"No Roger you have indeed marked this correctly, it's just... Well considering his circumstances... Shocking to say the least,"

"I'm glad I didn't miss read it. It's just shocking that a child of his background, his personality, his age would have an IQ of 200! I thought Levi was extraordinary with an IQ of 180. I was right to allow you to keep him here. He just needs to build confidence around people, and I think it will begin to get better once we finally discover what has truely happened to him,"

"I agree Roger, I'm glad I didn't give up on him. He will be someone great one day, I just know it. I'll go and get L to give him the news, I can imagine little Levi will follow him too. I think Levi has done L some good. Even if L still has a long way to go,"

Watari left the room and Roger just sat back in his seat and smiled, 'things may start to look up for little L after all'

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**Sorry it's so short, I have a lot of work for college, so I will try update both my stories again at the weekend :P please review if you enjoyed and see you next time! **


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